When I grow up, I want to be a...

Let's take it back to 1990 something when Spice Girls were amazing, Rugrats was good kids TV, when you thought Pocahontas was the best movie EVER! Ok…ok so maybe I still think these things but that's not up for discussion. Remember when you finished this sentence with something like firefighter, ballerina, Britney Spears? Personally I wanted to be Nicole Kidman because I was in love with Moulin Rouge. But let's get real here, I could never pull off her hair or her alien like skin.

If someone had told me that I was going to be a stay at home mom to 2 little boys. I would have shot it down 1.) It was impossible for me to get pregnant because I would never kiss a stinky boy! YUCK and 2.) If I were to have kids I would have 5 little Nicole Kidmans running around so I could dress them up and put them in ballet (I obviously had not fully understood what teenage girls were like). This whole little girl fascination went on until I was pregnant with Z. I was convinced I would be having a girl. Our conversation the night before the ultrasound.

Steven: Lina you know we're having a boy right? 

Lina: huh? I know we're going to have a little girl. We should go buy some cute outfits.

Steven: Boys run in my family

Lina: Yes boys run really fast in your family.

So there I was getting all dolled up to go look at my baby "girl" we were going to name her Trinity and she was going to be just..like..me (I am sure my parents are laughing now, if you knew me in high school you understand.) They put the goop on my belly and there she was so little and perfect. This ultrasound was such a tease I wanted to take my little princess home NOW. 

Roberta (yes I remember her name): IT'S A BOY!!!!

I stopped and looked at the screen and started to cry. Not because of disappointment. I was really excited! A boy just like his Daddy. The man I fell in love with and the man who will always love me in return. I started picturing all the baseball games and our home being filled with trucks, dinosaurs, and superheroes. When I left the clinic all excitement of little girl was gone. We were going to have a boy. I remember calling Steven afterwards and telling him. He was so excited! That night we picked his name and started calling him Zack. When we got pregnant with Eli I didn't even wish for a girl I wanted another boy. So when they told us again "IT'S A BOY!!!" I was so excited to give Zack a brother and have another little Steven running around. 

So here I am doing absolutely nothing what I thought I would be doing and I couldn't be happier about it. I am a stay at home mom to 2 amazing little boys. I am building my very own photography business and I live in Japan. Life is simply good. So here it goes…..

"When I grow up I want to be…a better mom, wife, and photographer than I was yesterday"